Yup, still here, still in the same boat

I think I have an addiction - a food addiction.  This is no joke.  I have not been able to resist food, especially carbs since I last wrote.  Each week, I start over.  Each week I give in to the temptation.  My husband says "Just don't eat it.  Just say no.  Just don't buy it."  Easy for him to say.  He can buy a bag of candy, just eat one or two and put the bag away with no further thought.  If I have a bag of candy, a box of cookies, a box of crackers, I have to eat it till I'm almost sick.  That's an addiction. 

Anyway, I have the best of intentions.  I want to lose weight, I want to feel better.  I know what I need to do.  I want to finish what I started - a year ago.  It was working, now I know that I need to add some healthy carbs back in so I don't have that zombie feeling.  Today we got up early, I took Cody to the school for a nice long walk because I knew we would be gone all day.  He got muddy so I had to wash his paws before he went in on the newly shampooed carpet.  I got ready, Rick gave him a pill, we ended up leaving 15 minutes later than we wanted to. 

Once on the road I realized I had forgotten the English toffee that I had made.  We actually made good time and made it to Pala at about 9:10.  Liz and Eric were the only ones in line.  We paid and got seated in a booth.  I got Iced tea.  My first plate was a bunch of crab, a bowl of blueberries (fresh, YES), a couple of pieces of pineapple, one potsticker, and a piece of really good sausage.  The next plate was more crab, some rice crispy treat, a macaron, 3 cookies (which I promptly put in my purse),  Then I went and got a tiny scoop of coffee ice cream with a sprinkle of m & ms, a rice crispy treat, a marshmallow and a half a strawberry.  So good.  I made sure not to stuff myself.  We sat there until after 11 talking.

Then we headed out on the casino floor.  I played Pacman, lost $8.00, played Dinero Loco, lost $5, played Heat em up, lost $10, played some stupid lion game, lost $20.  I forget but I lost about $50 total.  Oh well, we had fun.  Brunch was only $47 because I had a $5 off coupon and with our discount.

We got back on the road close to 1:00, it was a long drive home.  We saw a lot of fire trucks, police cars and just people lined up on bridges and the side of the road to watch the procession of the fallen firefighter.  We got home about 2:30.  The dogs were fine, Cody didn't freak out.  We sat around, I worked on the school website and posted my first Tweet, and I started dinner about 4:30.  We had miso butter pork chops, baby bok choy, rice and apple salad.  I had about a 1/4 of a caramel apple for dessert.  That's what I've been doing, eating sweets and then saying that I'll start tomorrow.  I took chicken out to cook for lunch.

I bought some good bacon to eat for breakfast tomorrow, we'll see how this goes.

After the holidays - starting over

I have to admit, I went off the rails a little over the holidays and it has been a huge challenge to rein in my eating habits to get back to where I was.

I was doing so well my first 21 days and then I started to feel really off mentally.  I was literally in a daze all day, couldn't maintain a thought, couldn't carry on a normal conversation and was apologizing to my husband constantly because I would forget what he said from minute to minute. 

It was weird and scary.  One day I decided I wanted a piece of candy and almost instantly I felt better, and I don't think it was in my head.  That told me I was eating way too little in carbs and so I started to up my carbs a little.  Then I lost control, like I thought I would and justified sweets because I still was not eating any gluten.

Anyway I scared myself another day when I really indulged and my blood sugar dropped to 39.  I had never felt that way in my life, I almost passed out, sweat was pouring down my back and my heart rate was through the roof.  I quickly ate a couple of spoonfuls of commercial peanut butter and brought myself back up to 71 within 15 minutes.

So now I'm glad I documented what I ate in the beginning, I am going back to day 1 and I'm going to see how it goes again with how I feel mentally.  What I was doing was working as far as weight loss, although slowly.  I have only gained back 4 of the pounds and I'm still 1.5 pounds lower than when I started.

I'm still eating dairy and have not worked out but twice in the last two weeks so that is another thing I need to change!






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